Teach Me
by Saint Lucifer-The Damned
Summary: The very first full length fanfiction on our two favorite cousins!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Not mine!_

_Author's Notes: As promised! The FIRST Tohma/Suguru fanfiction (full lenagth). No one shots or one sided stories here. This is the real deal folks! Enjoy! But if you don't like a little cousin lovin' don't read. Even though the smut comes later! Enjoy!_

_**Teach Me**_

_Nowhere You Can Go_

_Every child hero worships an older sibling, or when in a close family, an only child can hero worship an older relative. Aunt, uncle, cousin. Something to make up for lack of a playmate. Everyone has their idols to look up to, throw their attentions towards. Usually, at a certain age, the child throws the attentions and worship towards an Unreachable. Someone famous, known publicly and throughout their age group. Someone they'd have to constantly look up to, never surpass._

There was a time between the two when things were simple and untainted. They lived their lives, saw each other from time to time and that was the routine. Suguru would see Tohma whenever the family had a party or holiday, and Tohma would see Suguru at those times.

To Suguru, Tohma was perfect. Everyone in the family lavished praise on him. He was smart, soon to go to business school to take over for his father one day, polite, the perfect Seguchi bred child. Suguru was well on his way to doing the same. Tohma became his role model whenever he was told to do something, learn something new, told to act a certain way. It was never a surprise when anyone asked the boy what he wanted to be when he grew up; his answer was always the same.

"I want to be like To-chan!"

The day Suguru was born, Tohma was excited at the prospect of a new member to the family and thrilled for his aunt and uncle. The baby's party had been elaborate and dull, introductions and boasts from adults, smaller kids running around, dirtying the clothing that their parents had taken time and effort to dress them in. And in a little basket, always at his aunt's side, was the newborn himself, dressed in white, which went with the dark head of hair, large green eyes peering out silently as the many guest went up to coddle him, coo over him. He didn't do much until Tohma had taken a moment sometime during the middle of the party to go see his new little cousin.

And at the flash of blonde hair and teal eyes accompanied with a small quirk of a smile and wiggle of slender fingers, Suguru smiled, gurgling pleasantly as a small pudgy hand opened and closed, trying to reach for one of Tohma's gloved fingers. Tohma's smile grew and he leaned in closer, letting the tiny hand fist around a finger. He was adorable. Tohma noted that they were the only two with green eyes, though different shades, and somewhat the same feature wise, though Suguru's chubby little face made it a little hard to come to that conclusion.

"You're the first one he's taken a liking to," an amused female voice said from behind the blonde.

Tohma looked over his shoulder, smiling at his aunt. "Really?"

She nodded, watching her son try to pull Tohma's finger towards his toothless mouth.

"Well, I'm sure it's nothing Aunt Akiko," he told her, as if it were something to worry about.

"No worries, dear. None at all," she agreed and walked of, an amused glint in her dark eyes.

He looked back at his baby cousin and shook his head slightly. Suguru watched and smiled.

"Your mother is weird," he told the baby in a hushed tone.

He gurgled in what seemed to be agreement and Tohma gave a breathy laugh.

"But she's not as weird as my mother," the blonde said, raising his eyebrows. Suguru gave a gurgling laugh, as if he knew this already. "Devout Buddhist. Crazy as a loon."

Leaning awkwardly, Tohma pulled a chair from behind him so he could sit in front of his cousin, whose basket was perched on a table, as if on display.

"Sug-kun," he cooed softly, and Suguru waved his arms slightly, taking Tohma's hand with him since he still had a good grip on the finger. "You like that, do you? Alright then. Now I know what to call you. What do you think of our fathers?"

With the question, he jerked his head at two suit clad men with drinks in hand arguing over business.

"Like twins those two," he sighed, smile fading.

Suguru mimicked him and dropped his smile, tugging at his hand slightly. Tohma saw this and smiled again.

"My father wants me to take over the business one day… I want to make music," Tohma confessed quietly, using his free hand to smooth over the baby's head lightly. "But that doesn't matter does it? The Seguchi namesake has to be upheld and passed on. Can you believe my parents had me engaged?"

Suguru just watched his cousin, taking in everything with an understanding eye, giving back nothing but silent wisdom that only children seemed to have. Tohma rose from the chair, gently removing his finger. Suguru screwed up his face, as if someone had taken away his favorite toy and was about to empty his lungs in a scream. But Tohma caught the look and stooped slightly, one hand cradling the boy behind his neck, the other slipping under his small, cherub body, lifting him from the basket. Suguru immediately brightened, making pleased enthusiastic noises as Tohma took his seat again.

"I've never held a child before," Tohma said absently, wondering slightly how he knew what to do. "But you're… comforting. Different from the other ones."

Suguru seemed pleased with this, waving his little hands around.

"Your mother's a good woman," he told Suguru firmly. "And I hope she lets you choose your life, Sug-kun. Don't be like me."

After that, they were as inseparable as a pair could get when you didn't see each other often. Tohma's father was the oldest of three, Akiko was the middle child and they had another aunt that was mysteriously never mentioned. Ever. The blonde always wondered what she had done wrong to be cast out of the family like that, but never questioned it out loud.

When Suguru could walk, he would toddle around after Tohma, when he could speak, his first words were 'Ma', 'Da', 'No', and 'To'. Tohma found him a delightful source of merriment when they were together. Teaching him how to pronounce things, pointing out things, keeping him, practically, all to himself. But it wasn't as though anyone noticed or cared it seemed. Children of the family were just replacements for when their parents died off. Someone to train to take their place, get married and make sure the name continued onward.

Tohma loved his little cousin very deeply, and it hurt when he decided not to tell him he was leaving for New York when he had made up his mind to go, taking Eiri with him. He'd always told Suguru before a concert tour or a trip if he was leaving, and now it felt like he was lying to his little cousin. His little shadow, as he'd taken up to thinking of him. But he had been worried that if Suguru found out he was taking his fiancée's younger brother along with him, his cousin may have gotten upset because he couldn't have joined them. And then he might've had to explain his feelings for the young blonde. Something he didn't want to get into, especially with his ten-year-old cousin.

The atrocities came and went, and after going home, Tohma had stayed in a hotel, lying dormant for a week. The next few weeks, he started going through his things to throw things away. As if to purge himself of the horror. While yanking (a very un-Tohma thing to do) a shirt out of a suitcase, a paper fluttered to the floor. He picked it up, realizing that it was the letter his aunt had sent him while he had been overseas. It talked about his little cousin and how he didn't seem phased at all when she broke the news about his trip. It praised his new found ability to play piano and Synth (they had given him an old one of Tohma's). The blonde had a sudden urge to go visit Suguru.

One cab and half an hour later, he was ringing the bell at the Fujisaki's door.

Akiko opened the door, long black hair pulled back and away from her face as her dark eyes brightened on registering who was standing in her doorway.

"Ah! Tohma, come in, come in," she greeted jovially, stepping aside to let her nephew in. "I wasn't expecting a visit! I want to hear all about your trip. Suguru should be here somewhere, I'm sure he'll be ecstatic to see you!"

"Oh, it's really nothing to speak about," Tohma said with a kind smile, trying to ignore the sickness in his stomach. He didn't want to remember any of it. He wanted it all to fade away into nothing.

Like a nightmare he could shake off and forget as it faded.

"Just a bunch of boring business and networking. And I just got back. I actually came to see Suguru. I recalled your letter, the one you sent last that spoke of him taking up the piano."

Before he joined Nittle Grasper, he'd planned on being a concert pianist, and he still loved the piano.

"Oh yes," she agreed, nodding as she led him in. "It honestly just started out of nowhere. He just wanted to start playing. I almost think it was because he missed you."

Akiko laughed lightly, as if it were a silly reason. Just something in her head.

"But he's been doing quite well, practices constantly," she practically gushed to her nephew.

"But I'm not as good as you," Suguru said softly, appearing from upstairs, eyes on his cousin.

"Ah! Here he is, "Akiko said, announcing the obvious. "I'll make tea. Suguru's missed you so much."

And with that she flitted out of the room.

Finally, Suguru broke into a smile and went over to the blonde. "You're home!"

"I'm home," Tohma positively beamed down at the adorable little boy, crouching to grab him. Seemingly frail, Tohma was amazingly strong for his size.

"And I missed you! I came to see you and only you, you know, " Tohma informed the child, giving him a kiss to the forehead. "I was lonely and I started thinking about you, and how much I would love to see you play. I bet you're better than you think. Come on now, you know modesty doesn't run in the family. And neither does lack of talent."

Suguru was a beautiful child, but then again, that also ran in the family. But, out of every family member, Tohma had always preferred Suguru to all of them.

Suguru laughed when he was picked up, latching onto his cousin. Tohma was back! He'd been gone forever, but he said he missed him and came to see just him!

"Maybe... the teacher keeps making me play all the stupid stuff though," he said, making a face. "But" he said in a lowered tone, a small smile on his lips "I try to figure out how to play other stuff when he's gone."

He said it like it was the biggest secret in the world. He knew the basics and could recognize those notes quickly, and in the back of some of his books, it showed him other notes too! It was a lot of guess work but it was more fun than playing a scale over and over.

"And you should. How else are you going to become the best musician in the world and steal my job?" Tohma asked him in a voice of wonder. Reaching up, he pushed thin fingers through the front of Suguru's hair, petting him affectionately.

"Some teachers hate it when their students exhibit more talent than they have, so don't let anyone ever tell you how to make music as long as you enjoy it," and he was just the cutest thing ever.

Bouncing him a bit, Tohma carried him through to sit on the couch with the child in his lap.

"I don't want to steal your job!" He cried out playfully. "But we could both be the best musicians in the world and rule it together!"

Suguru laughed as Tohma bounced their way to the couch. He sat facing Tohma and had one hand tug at his shirt.

"Tell me about your trip! Did you play a lot? Did you have fun? How come I couldn't go with you?"

Tohma didn't want to frown, and he didn't want to make a sad face. But, those were the expressions he felt surfacing when he thought about the trip. Oh, it had begun so wonderfully, but it ended in hell.

"We played a lot, and we got to talk to lots of magazine and radio people. It was fun. Half the time, they couldn't tell a word of what we were saying, so I think we were funny dressed novelties to them playing music they were interested in only because it was new and foreign," he tended to speak to Suguru like an adult, though the boy was just a child.

"Sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was tiring, and it was boring a lot. But, I like boredom. Sometimes. I like having nothing to do but lay around in these waning days of my youth.

He hugged Suguru to him tightly, kissing his head, so glad that Suguru wasn't there.

"Oh, your parents would have hated it if I'd have taken you so far away from them."

"Well... at least they liked the music," he said, trying to cheer him up.

Tohma sounded a little sad. Maybe he really didn't like the boredom? Maybe he didn't like the people that he had to talk with. Tohma liked talking to people who understood music, maybe they didn't know anything.

"But you would've had more fun if I was there," Suguru protested, hugging him back. "And you could've taught me how to play!"

Tohma clung tighter, only loosening when it came to him that he may be hurting Suguru.

Pushing his face into the warm neck of the youth, he let the soft, baby smooth skin relax him.

"I'll come over every day and teach you now," he whispered, promising. Suguru was unbroken, untouched. And if Tohma had Suguru around, he could pretend that he wasn't, too. He loved Suguru even more for providing him that outlet. "We can have lots of fun together now that I'm home."

His eyes widened at hearing Tohma's words.

He was going to teach him?

"Really?" Suguru asked in awe.

It wasn't everyday that your famous relative would devote time to you. Then again, it wasn't everyday you had a famous relative. It just didn't seem real to him. Tohma would come and play with him now!

"Cross my heart," Tohma did just that, setting the promise in stone by crossing his heart with a single finger. "That way, you won't have some stuffy teacher that won't let you play what you want."

"Well, there will be times when I have to go on tour, but consider that a vacation away from me," he'd always been nothing but kind to Suguru, though. "You'll need it after putting up with me as a teacher."

Tenderly, he put his hand through Suguru's thick, soft hair, pushing it away from his delicate face.

"No," Suguru denied, shaking his head. "I won't need it... but you might!"

He laughed brightly at his own words. Tohma might be a hard teacher, but Suguru couldn't think of anyone else he wanted to spend so much time with.

"Thank you, To-chan!"

"A vacation from you? Never," Tohma insisted, holding his hands out flat infront of Suguru, "Remove my gloves for me."

Suguru was an eager to please child, and Tohma also adored that about him. It accentuated his innocence, and Tohma fed off of things that were pure and... undiseased.

"M'kay," Suguru said, one hand wrapping around a thin wrist as the other pulled at the fingertips of the gloves.

He did it methodically; index, middle, ring, pinky, thumb. Once finished with that, he eased the glove off one of Tohma's hands and repeated the process with the other.

"All done!" Suguru announced happily, a glove in each hand.

Tohma flexed his hands, stretching and letting his skin get used to the cool air. Taking his gloves, he set them to the side within reach if he felt the need to put them back on.

Sliding his fingers through Suguru's hair, his palms resting just at his cheeks.

"Want to play something for me? One of the things you play that your teacher won't let you?" he asked, hands moving once again to push through Suguru's hair.

"Yeah!" Suguru cried enthusiastically. "I can't keep the tempo yet... my hands have to stretch really far to get some of the notes."

He liked when Tohma didn't wear his gloves, it made him feel that much closer to his cousin. Suguru never saw him without them and he thought Tohma had such pretty hands. It was nice to see them released from their prison.

"But I can try, right?"

"That's okay, they'll grow," Tohma understood small hands, he had the same problem when he started to play. That was, until his parents bought him a small piano. The syth, though, he didn't start playing until he was 14, so his hands were growing thanks to the onset of puberty.

"I want you to try."

That was all he ever wanted. It didn't matter of Suguru couldn't reach some notes and hit them a second or two too late. What mattered was the attention and focus that Suguru put into his playing. And yes, whether or not he knew what tempo he was supposed to keep, but couldn't physically to do.

Standing up, he carried Suguru up with him.

"Okay, tell me where to take you."

"Upstairs," he directed, arms wrapped around the blonde's neck. "Second door on the right. It used to be an office for dad, but mom kicked him out of that room so now he keeps his stuff in a smaller room."

Suguru smiled, pleased at himself for knowing such information. As with all young children, they wanted to prove that they knew more than anyone thought they should even if the information was unnecessary.

"And I got a piano while you were away and your mom even let my have one of your old Synths," Suguru told him, proud that he knew what it was called.

"Ooooh, so you have your own room for playing now? Lucky you! Sug-kun has his own studio, " Tohma said in an impressed voice, kissing the small, soft temple. Under his lips, he felt the heartbeat, lingering to steal it for a while.

He took the long steps up to the second floor. Counting one and two, he headed to the second door on the right.

"I'm so happy that she gave it to you, too. And you don't know how happy it makes me to hear that you've taken an interest in playing."

Gently, he set Suguru down at the door.

"We're just like each other!"

"Yep!" He said proudly, straightening up a little as he opened the door. "Cause I wanna be just like you, To-chan!"

And that was the gods honest truth. Suguru had been following Tohma around for as long as he could remember. He wouldn't want it any other way. And neither would the blonde. He loved his little cousin and enjoy the affections he gave towards him. The child was so much like himself, and on some levels, not at all. But Tohma was glad he had come after all, because when it seemed he had nowhere else to go, he'd found somewhere he belonged after all.

_Good start? Bad? _

_Love it, hate it?_

_Please review!_

_SL_


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Not mine, but enjoy anyway!_

_Author's Notes: This is to my reviewers! Thanks! I've never written a story that go so many reviews in one day. And to anyone who thought Tohma's affections were a little too much:_

_I can understand how it was difficult to follow the first chapter. We skip from a prologue type thing, right into the story where Suguru is just a child. Then he's eleven. I have to skip a lot of years as I go. But, I have plans for the missing years, now worries! Also, Tohma being affectionate to Suguru as a child is not where the romance begins. Tohma if just overly affectionate. Think of the cutest dog or cat ever. Now, with that in mind, don't you have the urge to just continually cuddle it? That's how it is between Tohma and Suguru… except Suguru isn't a dog or cat… yeah…_

_Anyway! Enjoy! _

_**Teach Me**_

_Take Me Away From Here_

Tohma kept his word to the fullest, committing endless amounts of time to his little cousin each and every day. And it was never a chore for Suguru to do as he was asked. He was not like other children who went through endless amounts of activities for short periods of time and then become bored. Suguru was dedicated to the passion that both he and his cousin shared.

Tohma deemed his little cousin accomplished by the age of fourteen, seeing that Suguru truly loved what he did. He could play everything Tohma gave him and had even started creating pieces of his own. The blonde was more than pleased with the results of his work. It was one day when he'd come by, Suguru settled on the piano bench, which was rare since they had been working on the Synth for the last year, one hand sadly tinkering with the keys in a mournful, basic scale. He took a seat next to the shorter boy and mimicked his tune on a different pitch. Glancing over at Suguru, he saw a fleeting smile that brought out the sadness in his eyes.

"So, Sug-kun," Tohma eased. "How was school?"

His slender fingers halted for just a mere second, but Tohma caught it.

"Fine, To-chan," he said quietly. "Just fine."

"Well then, why don't you show me the piece you were working on yesterday?" Tohma suggested with a light tone.

"Sure."

Suguru got up and Tohma stopped playing, watching his forlorn cousin with studious eyes. The boy positioned himself behind the old Synth (Suguru refused to part with it) and started it up; head bowed lower than normal over his hands. The blonde watching intently as Suguru poured out the song, but instead of the upbeat mix he had heard the other day, the sound was tinged with sadness.

"Suguru, play it like you mean it, or not at all," he instructed firmly.

His cousin hesitated before starting again. And again and again. The sound wasn't coming out right.

"Suguru," Tohma said sharply, causing the young player to look up, startled.

Tohma gasped inaudibly. Around Suguru's right eye was a slick, dark bruise, the wide green eye smaller than the other with swelling.

"What happened, Sug-kun?" the older man asked softly, getting up from the bench and making his way towards his little cousin.

Suguru backed away slightly, protesting. "Nothing Tohma. It's absolutely nothing. I was just messing around with some of the guys at school, and we got a little rough."

The bass was still thumping on an endless loop, matching Tohma's racing heartbeat as he stopped, watching his cousin who looked like a deer in headlights.

"Suguru," he whispered, feeling deflated. "I want the truth."

"I was just bullied again," he confessed quietly, averting his eyes, feeling ashamed.

Again?

"What?" the blonde asked in quiet rage. Who would do this to his little cousin?

"They… they don't like me, Tohma," he said, sounding guilty. As if it were his fault. "I don't know why… I just sit in class, do my work, I don't bother anyone. It was like… I don't know."

Tohma was furious, taking Suguru in his arms. His cousin was stiff before almost collapsing into the embrace. He'd always relented to Tohma's touch, hands curling in the loose material of the blonde's shirt, shaking his head against his shoulder. Tohma held Suguru for a long moment, one hand rubbing his back lightly as the other pushed through his soft, thick hair. Over the years, the dark hair Suguru had been born with had gained an interesting quality. When shown in just the right light, you could see a faint tinge of green highlighted throughout. All of his little cousin had become unique and so, so precious to him.

"Tell me, Sug-kun," he whispered, placing a kiss atop his head.

"Ever since I started high school, they've all hated me," he murmured, voice muffled as he pressed into Tohma's lithe frame.

Ah, Suguru had attended high school early for his high marks. He'd been enthusiastic, but had never said much about it.

"Were they always violent?"

"No… they all seemed not to care, or put off by me," Suguru said, clinging tighter. "Until they realized I wouldn't fight back. Today was the worst though. These two guys held my arms while the other landed a good one."

He laughed then, looking up at Tohma bleakly. "It was the guy I beat out for a solo piece… I kicked him in the gut."

Tohma didn't know whether to laugh or frown. It seemed to be such a Suguru thing to do in retaliation, and yet it hadn't been proper at all. Surely his mother must've been aware of this. At least she couldn't've missed it now. Instead, he realized he needed to have a talk with his parents.

"Sug-kun, it won't happen again, I promise you," he assured firmly, hugging his little cousin tight.

"No! You can't get involved," he protested.

Tohma blinked, looking down at Suguru. "And why not?"

The smaller boy muttered something, head ducking back down again.

"Why not, Suguru," the blonde pressed.

"Cause you're the reason it happened in the first place. They think you're throwing your weight around so I keep getting the leads," he confessed sadly.

So not only was his family insulted, but his name sullied as well? Tohma would not stand for it.

"Sug-kun, I have to go speak with your mother. I'd appreciate it if you stayed here until I finished," he said evenly.

"To-chan," Suguru pleaded uselessly. "Please don't tell her! She bought the excuse about roughhousing."

"I'm sure she did," Tohma told him with a smile, running a hand through his hair again.

He knew better. His aunt may have been a little flightly compared to the rest of the family, but a mother was still a mother. And a mother knew her child. It was ingrained into their very being.

"But it's not about this… I have something else in mind."

His cousin's face was pensive, but he didn't argue. "Alright… I'll be here."

Tohma smiled, letting his little cousin go. Reluctantly, Suguru let his hands uncurl from the shirt and stepped away from the blonde. Tohma took his leave to go in search of his aunt who was working around the kitchen, cleaning, snacking, humming. The blonde smiled. She was so different from his mother.

"Aunt Akiko?" he asked softly, interrupting.

She turned, smiling. "I've barely heard any music! Something wrong, dear?"

"nothing more than you already know."

Akiko frowned, leaning back against the counter. "So he told you?"

"The truth? Yes," Tohma sighed, smile vanishing. His aunt looked hurt, dark eyes wounded. Her son had fed her an outright lie and she knew it. "Not right away though."

"Yes, so what can I help you with?" She asked with a small sigh, putting out of mind the images of her son being bullied.

"It's just an offer. You have the absolute final say in this, Aunt," he told her, which made her uneasy. Anytime someone said that to try and put you at ease, it was usually something you wouldn't like.

Akiko nodded stiffly for him to continue.

"Suguru has become talented far beyond anyone I've seen his age, Aunt Akiko. And as you know, I've just recently started up my label. I think it might be in his best interests now to have him undergo a more serious training," Tohma said, continuing before she could question him. "He has the potential to do great things. His pianist skills are magnificent and his Synth playing is catching up quickly. I'm not going to throw him into the music world yet, I'd prefer to wait until he was of age, of course… but until then, I ask that he come live with me and Mika."

There. Proposition out in the open. For some reason, he felt a yearning in his chest for his aunt to agree. Suguru was starting to remind him of Eiri so much. Fighting, causing unintentional fights… Tohma wanted to keep him untainted, unbroken. What better way to do that than to have him under his own roof?

His aunt was still for, what felt like, a long time. It was the longest he'd ever seen her without a smile or moving around for as long as he could remember. Tohma thought about taking back his offer for a moment before sticking to his resolve. It would be for the best. Akiko looked at him, taking a deep breath.

"Ask him, not me," she said finally.

He was a little surprised. "Do you think he would be able to make such a decision?"

She nodded firmly. "He knows what's best for him. Ask him."

Tohma gave her a smile. "Alright, Aunt. I will."

He went back upstairs, taking his time to slowly mull over his thoughts. One gloved hand gliding along the handrail, watching the steps of his feet as they made their way up carpeted stairs. Hand slipped into his pockets as he faced the shut door, behind which Suguru was waiting. His hand reached for the polished knob and then stopped. Flowing faintly from beyond the door was something new. Apparently his cousin had been busier than he had first thought. The music sounded flawless, flowing with the gentle ease of a seasoned professional. The blonde smiled to himself and opened the door, startling hid young cousin out of his momentum.

"To-chan," he sighed, giving a weak smile as he caught his breath. "Sorry, you scared me."

Even with the smooth darkened area around his eye, Suguru still looked as beautiful as he always did. It gave him a roughened charm. The same Eiri had when he would come home looking a little worse for wear. Tohma still felt guilty when he was thinking on the young, tainted blonde, now a young man. He had never healed from the scars of the past, and Tohma feared he never would. But Suguru was his fresh start. He offered Tohma another chance to do things right.

"Mm, sorry, Sug-kun," Tohma said, tilting his head slightly. "Could you shut that off? I have something important to ask you."

Suguru did as he was asked, taking a seat at the piano bench again, hands braced around the edge of it tightly. He looked over at his older cousin expectantly. Tohma took a seat next to him, still smiling, heart pounding, rushing blood through his ears, making all sound muffled.

"How far would you like to take your musical talents, Suguru?"

The boy blinked. This is what was so important.

"As far as I can, To-chan. You know that," he answered with a small chuckle.

"Then I have an offer for you. I have been training you and teaching you as well as I can with the situations we have. But I know I can push you harder, thus helping make any goals you have put within your reach," Tohma explained, leaving his young cousin confused. "As of right now… by the time you're of age, you would be equal to anyone else who works for me. But I don't want you to play like everyone else, Sug-kun. I want… I expect you to be better than that by the time you're of age."

"I'm glad you think so highly of me, Tohma. I'll work harder than ever," Suguru said with a decisive nod of his head.

"Oh, I have no doubts. But I want to know what you're willing to five up to reach those expectations."

Give up? What would he have to give up if he was already on a steady path to achieving those desired goals?

"Anything I suppose," he replied after a moment of thought.

"Would you be willing to give up your life as it is now? Friends, family, school?"

"Why?" Suguru asked warily.

Tohma rested his elbow on the piano cover, loose fist holding up his head. "Because I want you to come live with Mika and me."

Pure, unadulterated shock swept over his features. In his mind, it was like his dream come true. Finally, completely truly alone to play music with his cousin. But… his mother… Suguru knew his father wasn't so much the issue as it was his mother. He knew she loved him dearly and she had tried very hard to have him. Apparently a lot of procedures had been gone through before his parents had gotten lucky with him.

"What did my mother say?" he asked, putting two and two together.

"That I should ask you."

Did that mean his mother wanted him to go? That he would feel too guilty to accept? No. His mother kept to her word and never said anything she didn't mean. She had left this decision with him because she wanted him to choose. No simpler reason than that.

"I'll go, Tohma," Suguru answered after sorting through his thoughts.

The blonde smiled, feeling at ease now. "Are you positive? Because I assure you, this won't be easy. Living with your teacher and cousin all at once."

He knew that. The lines could get confused between work and play. Suguru could wind up upset over nothing. Things might get over his head. But he had that choice to make. No one else.

Suguru nodded, smiling over at his cousin. The person he'd always wanted to be closest to. "I know… but I want to try anyway."

_This was a little dry, I know, but the next chapter is gooooooood stuffs! You'll be all teary in the beginning and then... well, I can't give it all away, right?_

_Please review and look for the next chapter: Make Me Real_

_SL_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Not mine! Step right up, folks! We got the freshest 'not mine's' this side of the city! Don't push! Don't shove, plenty for all, plenty for all!_

_Author's Notes: Thank you soooooooo much reviewers! And thanks to my Tohma, Val! She's so nice you just wanna squeeze her!_

_Or maybe that'__s just me..._

_Anyway! Thanks to my reviews and thanks to Val who let me use our Posts on the Site to move the story along. I'm sorry, but Smut won't be happening until chapter five, I think. Read this, and you'll see why..._

_**Teach Me**_

_Make Me Real_

The move was hard on Suguru. He had to say good-bye to his mother, promising to call her at least once a week and make Tohma promise to have them come over for dinner every Sunday. Packing was tough. He didn't know where to begin. An overly neat person like him couldn't figure out how to organize his room into boxes. Tohma took the time to help; talking to him, making sure his little cousin knew that he could change his mind at any moment. He decided packing a small duffle bag with the bare necessities was best, then everything else; Clothes, breakables, books, papers, knickknacks and the like. It was suddenly easier. Suguru's room was fairly sparse compared to the average teenager's room. Finally it was done and the final good-byes took an hour total, Akiko finding more and more things to add to the list of what Suguru needed to remember and what Tohma should remind him of. The young player was more than happy to be leaving school, the reckless bullying, boring work… he thought he was completely free!

Until his mother ruined that fantasy.

"Tohma… what about his education?" She asked worridly.

The blonde smiled patiently, seeing as they were supposed to be back at his place an hour ago and Mika would be more than a little mad. "I have that taken care of."

"Oh, I don't doubt you, or Suguru's playing ability… its just… I want him to have something to rely on if it never happens… or, or when he decided he's finished," Akiko explained desperately, as if they wouldn't understand, hands wringing together tightly.

"I've gotten him set up with tutors who will challenge him like the schools never could. Sug-kun had often told me of his boredom in class," Tohma assured her. "If you would rather a school, I'm sure I could work something out."

"No! No, no, no. You do what you think is best," she told him, feeling a little embarrassed. But… her little boy was leaving! He'd grown up far too fast, never enjoyed life. She was worried he might go overboard with his new found freedom, even though she trusted her nephew and his judgment.

"Of course, Aunt. Now, I'm sorry, but we must be going before Mika sends out a search party," he joked with a pleasant smile.

A small blush crept over her cheeks as she realized how late she'd kept them. "Yes, of course! I'm so sorry, dear. Please, go. Give Mika my regards, dear. Tell her she's welcome to join us for dinner."

"I will, Aunt Akiko," Tohma assured her, turning to Suguru. "I'll be waiting in the limo, Sug-kun."

The younger boy watched the blonde exit as he looked at the shut front door for a long moment before turning back to his mother, who looked as though she was on the brink of tears.

"Where's dad?" he asked, head tilted as his hands fidgeted behind his back.

She gave him an apologetic smile. "Business trip."

Suguru snorted in disgust. His father was never home. It would probably take him a few months to remember he had a son who should be living at him. He saw his mother frown and immediately regretted his thoughts. For whatever reason, his mother loved his father very much. She was devoted to him no matter what. Akiko gave new meaning to the vow 'until death do you part'. He went over to his mother and caught her up in a hug. Suguru had inherited most of her features, which were similar to Tohma's father; smooth, delicate and shapely. It explained how the two cousins looked so alike despite the age gap, though Suguru was noticeably paler than Tohma. Akiko wrapped her arms around her son, resting her face in his soft hair, inhaling the dull, fragrant scent of shampoo and conditioner. Tears began to burn beneath her tightly shut lids and her body hitched in a silent sob. The tears cut glimmering tracks down her cheeks, curving sharply to meet together at the tip of her nose, falling off into the thick mass of hair atop her son's head. Suguru felt his mother quiver and held her tighter in response, his own eyes attacked with oncoming tears as he felt his face heat up painfully.

"Mom," he murmured hoarsely, throat constricted. "Please don't… it's not like I'll be gone forever."

"I know, I know," she snuffled, not yet letting him go. "But it feels like you've already grown up. My nest is empty and things along those lines."

"I promised to call and have dinner and you know I'll come see you randomly," Suguru told her, unable to help the tears now.

"Oh, honey… oh, honey I know! But what if you suddenly become a bif famous star! You'll forget all about your little old mother; the woman who gave birth to you, took care of you, clothed you, fed you," Akiko said with a tight laugh.

He tried to laugh too. "Never. Mom, how could I ever forget you? You raised me better than that."

They had a tearful, parting laugh as they released each other. Suguru wiped his cheeks furiously as his mother demurely dragged an index finger underneath each eye, running a dry finger down the slope of her nose. Akiko placed her hand on each of her son's cheeks and Suguru rested his hand atop hers, squeezing gently as he smile. He was so grown up at times, but he was still her little boy. Her one and only. She was proud of him. Even though Tohma was close to him, like a brother almost, he wouldn't lead Suguru on like this. If Tohma said her son had talent, he had talent. And with her nephew's hard work, Suguru would become whatever he wanted. He would have the choices of a musical career or college. He would be able to live his life without her soon. Sooner than she wanted.

"Suguru, I just want you to know that you should always do what you want, not what anyone else wants you to do, alright?" Akiko asked and he nodded solemnly.

She cupped his face in her hand, pushing stray hair out of his eyes, feeling as though this would be the last time she would see him.

"I love you, honey," his mother told him firmly, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you too, mom," he returned, feeling choked up again.

"Stay out of trouble and respect your cousins, sweetheart."

"Yes, mom, I will. I'll call you real soon," Suguru promised.

She walked him over to the door, holding it open. The moving truck had already left once everything had been packed in and was probably already unloading boxes at Tohma's place. He gave her one last kiss on the cheek before giving a small wave and walking out, going to the edge of the property where Tohma's limo was waiting, still running. Suguru turned around one last time, giving her another wave, and then got in. Akiko shut the door, leaning against it, forehead resting against the smooth wood. Her little baby was gone. She was finally alone. No one here to keep her company anymore.

Suguru slipped into the limo, Tohma waiting patiently, legs crossed and gloved hands laced around the upraised knee. The car smelled of leather and… clean, a TV settled on one side opposite his cousin, wraparound seats everywhere but. He saw the shadowed head of the driver behind the large tinted window, moving a bit as he pulled the long car onto the road. He was leaving home. It was actually happening.

Suguru looked at Tohma, wanting to break the thought inducing silence. "Do I really have tutors?"

The blonde gave a breathy laugh, unable to help himself. "Yes, Sug-kun, I'm afraid you do."

He sighed dramatically and sprawled himself out on the portion of seat he had. "How can I practice more if I still have to go do school work?"

"Because you're only getting the basics; Math, English, History, Science and Japanese Literature. And I'll be your music teach or course," Tohma listed with a fluttering smile.

"Of course," Suguru replied dryly.

It still sounded like school to him, and that wasn't any better. But at least there wouldn't be any other idiots hanging around. Ugh. They used to bug him all the time about his cousin and Nittle Grasper and make fun of him. But those days were over now. Suguru never had dreams of getting back at his classmates, or rising above to throw it in their faces. He was better than that.

"I'm sure you're more than capable to handle that workload," his cousin said, interrupting his thoughts.

Suguru just snorted, draping an arm across his eyes, feeling the drama queen. Tohma smiled, watching his young cousin. He was still the beautiful child he had always been. Only his body had taken on a wonderful, still developing shape. His lithe, tiny frame stretching out in the seat, a dark green shirt lifting slightly at the waist revealing just a small glimpse of smooth, pale skin. Black slacks pulled taut around the one slim leg that was uplifted, sneakered foot resting on the seat. His dark hair peeking from above where his arm lay across him, neck open, lines of muscle showing just so as the curve of his neck continued downward to his chest where a few undone buttons revealed the tender flesh there.

"Tohma?"

He snapped his head up, blinking in a slight daze. What had he been doing?

"Yes, Sug-kun?" Tohma asked, feeling muddled.

"I said 'we're here'," his little cousin repeated, pointing out a window.

They had pulled up a long driveway and the limo was purring just at the large porch a few steps leading up to large ornate doors that would lead them into the mansion of Seguchi Tohma. The moving truck was just pulling away down the road, so the boxes must've been placed where Suguru was staying.

"Ah, so we are," the blonde said with a slight, breathy chuckle.

The driver came around, opening the door and Suguru climbed out, Tohma following after. The young aspiring player had been to his cousin's mansion before, so it was no big shock to him. Although he couldn't help but marvel at the vastness of the entire place. The insides echoed and his cousin's insistence for cleanliness was obvious in the polished tabletops and reflective floors. The two cousin's entered, the large doors whispering open and shut with a gentle ease that defied its look. A head popped out from what looked to be a gleaming kitchen. She was a young, hardened woman in her twenties, long dark hair framing her face, high cheekbones and narrow eyes set above a shape nose and red lips. A smile didn't seem possible for a face such as this, not to say it wasn't pleasing, but Suguru was always surprised when Mika smiled.

And smile she did at the sight of her cousin-in-law. "Suguru-kun! It's about time you showed up. You remembered to bring my husband along with you and those mountains of boxes, hm?"

Husband. Suguru hated that word from her lips. And it made him hate Tohma all over again. Tohma brushed past him and went over to Mika, placing a kiss on her cheek like the dutiful… husband.

The young boy's eyes darkened with a memory.

_Tohma buckled Suguru into the backseat, going around to the other side, slipping in once he was sure his little cousin was secure. Once they were both in, he directed the driver to a small ice cream shop. Suguru could barely contain his excitement. He and Tohma were going to get ice cream for lunch! Suguru was practically wriggling with excitement._

"_Oh! Guess what happened about a month ago!" Tohma asked, returning his attention back to his little cousin after giving directions._

_Suguru wiggled around in his seatbelt so he could face Tohma a little better. "What happened a month ago?"_

"_I finialized my engagement… I'm going to be married in about three months," Tohma told Suguru, smile never faultering._

_It was time. To tell the truth, Tohma both dreaded the marriage, but resolved to it because it was his duty to make a family and be a man. He wanted kids, he loved Mika as a friend, and he'd made her wait long enough._

_But, he was so, so in love with someone else he couldn't be with. And that just hurt more. So, maybe he was getting married as a way to hide from that, too._

_"Married?" Suguru asked with a frown. "Does that mean your gonna be like my dad now and never be home cause your always working? And I won't get to see you anymore because you're gonna have a family?"_

_Tohma wasn't supposed to do that. He was supposed to do all the fun things with him! But everyone got married eventually; at least that was how it seemed._

_"Is she nice?" he asked, now sitting still. Not fair._

"_Oooh, I intend to keep touring, so if I'm gone, I'll be because I'm far away playing," he assured, reaching over to play with Suguru's hair._

_The Peter Plan complex. Tohma didn't want to grow up._

_"She's very nice. From a traditional family, her father is a monk. She has a little brother just your age. Her name is Mika. She's the sister of the boy I took to New York with me. You'll like her when you meet her."_

_And with that, he leaned over and gave Suguru a tiny kiss._

_A little twinge of jealousy ran through him. Tohma took some other kid with him on his trip, but not him. And he didn't want to like Mika. Cause Mika was going to be able to spend all her time with Tohma, and then Tohma wouldn't be able to come see him anymore._

_But Suguru tried not to pout. It wasn't right since that's what Tohma had decided he wanted._

_"I bet," he said. "So how come her brother went with you to New York?"_

_Tohma was a liar, not because he liked to lie, but because he needed to lie. It was necessary. He had a lot of secrets to protect. So, he lied to keep himself and the people around him safe._

_But everyone needed to say the truth. Even if he admitted it to a brick wall, the truth had to come out or it festered inside with the noxious lies surrounding it as a barrier._

_So, he let this be his catharsis of this one lie, this one secret that he knew Suguru would never tell. The little boy was smart enough to know it was wrong, something to never speak and let others know._

_"Because I'm in love with him, and I wanted to be with him for a little while before I married his sister."_

_There it was. His ugly truth. Said with a smile._

_Suguru faced fowards again, arms crossed, not looking at his cousin. "And his sister doesn't know that, does she?"_

_No, with Tohma no one knew what was going on until he told you. If you were lucky enough to be told. Mika probably thought Tohma had been doing something nice for her little brother. Because Tohma was always doing selfless things._

_If they benefited him._

_"How old is he?"_

_Suguru could be all fun and play around his cousin because he was usually so excited to see him, but he wasn't always like that. He could have a semblance of maturity; speak to Tohma as an equal, not as an eleven-year-old._

_Of course Mika didn't know. And surely Uesugi-san knew nothing of his lustful attentions to his son, or else he wouldn't have been so trusting to send the young man to a different country to live with him_

_No, Tohma was the rich soon to be family. Kind, innocent, and most importantly, nice to Eiri. Under the guise of doing something nice for Eiri, getting him away from the school that he dreaded walking into for all of the teasing and names._

_When really it was to be alone with him. BE with him. Oh, no one knew the desires and fantasies in Tohma's head, but they were dark and filthy and he deserved to be found out and condemned for them._

_"He's 16," Tohma finally replied. Just barely a man. Legal by law, by custom, but still considered a child for all intents and purposes._

Eiri looked like Mika. Suguru never liked the author much, and he tried to like Mika, really he did. It was just hard knowing that Tohma was a walking lie and Mika didn't know any of him.

"Come say hello to Mikarin, Sug-kun," Tohma laughed, taking him from past to present in a heartbeat.

With a tight smile and stiff hug, he greeted his cousin-in-law. His cousin's wife. The older sister to the boy of which Tohma was so infatuated with.

And Suguru wanted to expose his cousin for everything he was. Fourteen-year-old anger going on a rampage throughout his mind while they had tea, talking of many things. Laughing over dinner. Mika would never see the truth. She couldn't look past that gleam in Tohma's eyes that made any hormonally driven being melt. But was it because Mika and Eiri looked so much alike, that Tohma could play pretend in his own mind? Could he swap her long dark hair for short and bright? Morph her softened features into that of a squared off, manlier face?

He didn't exist! Suguru didn't even exist to his cousin. Not while he had thoughts like that to occupy him and his lonesome time. Taking him and teaching him to play was only for the good of Tohma. He needed talent for his new company, and that's all Suguru was. A pawn in his game.

Suguru felt like Pinocchio; stiff, hollow, defeated. Trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. Where was his fairy godmother?

When did he get to be real?

_Not as much of a tear jerker as I thought... but that's okay! Many more chapters to come!_

_Please review! It really does help._

_SL_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey, sorry, rushing, no time. thanks to everyone for everything and the next chapter is done and will be ten times as better. Love you all, I'll do better A/Ns next time!**_

_**Teach Me**_

_Breathe Into Me_

Tohma didn't start the training or tutoring for a bit. He wanted his little cousin to unpack, get comfortable. In layman's terms: Not get lost. Music lessons were to commence in the private studio, tutoring would be in the library. Tutoring went from ten until two, music started at three, no later. That gave Suguru an hour to start on any homework assigned, then meet Tohma at three, warm up for half an hour and have his hands worked to the bone until five. Suguru would practice on his own until dinner, then finish any homework afterwards. Dinner was promptly at seven and casual dress was expected. No one checked on the young boy for bed or how he spent his free time. If he went out, all he had to do was let Tohma or Mika know where he was going, when he would be back, and that was it.

The blonde had been a little put off after the first night. Of course he knew Suguru wasn't exactly a people person and being in a strange place to live his life would throw him off a bit, but still… something was nagging at him. Suguru had been unnaturally quiet at dinner, and Tohma knew how much his little cousin would usually talk to him. He had only picked at his food and looked extremely bored the whole time through. He only spoke when spoken to and even then it was limited and tightlipped responses, as if he'd been trying to physically restrain himself from saying something.

Then again, Tohma didn't go too far past face value.

He'd felt giddy with the rush of new things going on in his life. Suguru moving in, playing and teaching the young boy, being able to watch his skills grow and continually improve. His little cousin's fingers were becoming lightning quick, flying across the board. He was doing exceptional with the tutors. They reported that when the boy could completely focus and wasn't lost in his own thoughts, he was an exceptionally bright boy. Every Sunday was no different, except Suguru was more animated; giving stories about getting lost or feeling like his hands would fall off. His Aunt loved the visits, Mika tagging along every once in a while to be polite, never insisting on going, never trying to get out of it. And Suguru seemed to grudgingly warm up to his wife, smiling more easily and talking more freely, but it took a while.

Tohma was dressing for bed, a comfortable silk pajama set, while Mika was already in bed reading, when she rested the book against her chest and watched her husband's back as he finished buttoning up his shirt. They had been good friends since meeting when they were young, Mika being twelve at the time, Tohma, fifteen. Still, there were so many things about the blonde that she didn't know, but she took it all in stride. He'd been both more upbeat and pensive since bringing Suguru here, but that made sense; Tohma had a company just in it's infancy, his own band members to worry about and now rigorous training for his little cousin. She wondered how he managed to accomplish so much and still be sane.

"Tohma?" Mika asked as he climbed into bed.

"Hm, yes, Mika?" he answered distractedly.

There were so many questions, yet, she couldn't think of a single one to ask. "Are you okay with your cousin being around like this?"

He looked over at her, eyes frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you've always wanted kids; he's almost like a son to you. I'm wondering if this is becoming a little much for you. You seem so distracted lately," Mika pointed out gently.

Like a son to him? No, what Tohma felt for his little cousin was not fatherly love. It was confusing. It was a love, but there were so many forms of it, and he couldn't decipher how he felt about what anymore. His care for the boy was obvious and never before had he thought so hard on one person since…

No, that was just wrong. Suguru was fourteen, not even legal! And a blood relative. That was wrong on many, many levels. Besides, between his on and off flings with Ryuichi and Eiri still so heartbreakingly cold, his heart always seemed to be in two places. The singer had no respect for anyone else's feelings but his own, and Tohma catered to his ever mood swing. The blonde nineteen-year-old was shutting him and his family out whenever he could. But he kept trying. He had wanted to take care of him as a lover, and now the only way to take care of him would be as a brother in law.

There was an air of familiarity about that thought…

_Suguru was frowning. Such an unbecoming feature on the delicate child. But what else was to be expected? His ugly truth had been revealed, and Suguru had every right to act how he felt accordingly._

_"And does he know what you have in mind?" Suguru asked with a sigh._

_Tohma, his cousin, could charm the pants off of anything. He would bet anything in the world on it. And he wasn't mad at his cousin. Suguru wasn't angry or upset. Just disappointed at him. This kid was sixteen and Tohma usually had more restraint than that._

_Oh, wait. He remembered the blonde sounding a little sad when speaking of his trip. When he first came by the house. Maybe something hadn't gone according to plan for him?_

_Or maybe it was his own guilt. Suguru didn't know how he could face his soon to be wife and her family._

_He heard Suguru's small sigh and it pained him. It reminded him why he needed to keep this a secret. Suguru's youthful, still so naive disappointment was mild compared to what he'd get from so many others._

_"I... Yes, "he finally replied, nodding his head a little up and down in confirmation._

_Eiri knew. And Tohma thought he was just as disgusting as Yuki for what he'd done. He'd had his own hand in soiling Eiri's formerly innocent nature. _

_"He found out. But, I'm marrying his sister and Eiri is a different boy now. So, this is how I can move on but always be around to take care of him."_

_"But you don't want to take care of him," Suguru pointed out. "Not in the way you're saying. But that's your excuse to go through with the marriage. If it helps you get through it, fine. Keep lying."_

_He'd never spoken that way to his cousin before. Never so tight, so forced to keep each word even. But he didn't think Tohma should be able to hide from what he knew was the truth as well._

_There was nothing to gain from lying to yourself._

_There was so much that Suguru didn't know, so much Tohma couldn't ever say. Unfortunately, Eiri wasn't the same boy anymore, and everything had changed so horribly._

_"But, I can't take care of him the way I want to Suguru because he doesn't want that anymore. He hates me, so I have to do it this way, "he said gently, feeling so ashamed of himself that he wished he could find somewhere to hide._

_It was all his fault. He loved Eiri more than anything and Eiri was currently locked inside of his room refusing to speak to anyone. _

_Tohma jumped back to life, away from his thoughts, when the car stopped._

_He forced back on his smile, hoping his eyes weren't getting red. "We're here! Come on, I need ice cream now, too."_

"Did you hear me Tohma?"

The blonde nearly jumped as he was torn back the present, looking at his wife vaguely, as if he didn't recognize her. She was frowning deeply and he gave her a charming smile.

"I'm sorry; I've been drifting in and out all day. You were saying?" he said politely, urging her to repeat what he'd missed.

She sighed. "Just that you seemed distracted a lot."

"Nothing to worry about. Everything will be back in order soon, Mika," Tohma assured her as he kissed her cheek. "I'm just a little worn out."

He scooted under the covers, laying his head on the pillow, facing away from Mika. The light she'd been reading by clicked off and he was momentarily blind before his eyes began adjusting to the change. Slowly, continual darkness faded in and out to create shadowed shapes of chairs, doors, mirrors, lamps. Sleep would not come to him, but Thought was more than happy to take Its place.

Suguru had been such an astute child. He still was. That's why he told his cousin about Eiri. And maybe that was where he had gone wrong. Suguru had been his fresh start; pure, innocent, untainted. Eiri had been broken and shattered, touched, bloodied, abused. Yet, Suguru had been whole. He'd been a fresh start, a clean slate. When he'd stopped by after his horrendous trip to New York, his little cousin had been like a breath of fresh air in a world of pollution.

Tohma didn't know what to do about all of this. There were conflicting emotions abound and he doubted he was helping any of it. It was confusing, and Tohma was used to knowing exactly what was going on around him. He shifted restlessly beneath the sheets, Mika stirring gently in her sleep. He did love her, he wouldn't have married her otherwise, but it wasn't a true love, no.

Eiri had been true love. The first since Ryuichi. Oh, he'd still had Ryuichi when he was in New York, but Eiri had overtaken his senses. Yes, the young boy of just sixteen had overpowered him. It seemed like an impossible feat, and the blonde became more enamored with the boy who could make his heart clench so. He'd taken him away with him, just so he could be alone with him before marrying his sister. Tohma hadn't expected everything to go so, so wrong.

Mika was not asleep beside her husband in bed; no she rarely slept these last few nights. Tohma had been restless and fretful in his sleep, like a young child with a fever you could do nothing for. She worried about him. Yes, she loved him even if their marriage was a strange one. They were friends before then, and she knew earlier on that her love was not exactly wasted on Tohma, but not what he wanted from her. He wanted a family, which she could provide. He wanted a life to show the public, which she willingly gave, but never they true love she had wanted in return. But he was a good husband through and through, and though it hurt, she could excuse his transgressions time and time again. But there was one that was bothering her.

Tohma had always been an affectionate man, with children, men who acted like children and people in general. Sometimes he gave the impression of talking to those around him like children anyway, but it was just his good nature. She wouldn't deny that it was endearing, or that she thought it was sweet the way he hovered about his cousin, practically taking him by the hand and showing him everything, but there was something off. He seemed so frazzled around Suguru. Yes, still himself… but not. There was a little something extra in the care he took with the boy, something that gave her little warnings.

Well, Mika decided it was all in her head as she turned on her side, letting her eyes drift close. They were just a close family. Between the parents never around, or around too much, they were all they had. They'd bonded as family and friends that was all. Content with her own answers, Mika let herself drift into a light doze, the world becoming vaguely existent to her.

The blonde next to her, shifted on to his back, a whisper of sheets between them. Staring at the darkened ceiling for another few fruitless minutes, he eased back the covers and slipped out of bed, feet in slippers. Shuffling quietly down the halls, he made his way to his private studio, where he was giving Suguru his lessons. His large eyes blinked rapidly to clear them from spots as he turned on the blinding light. Tohma shut the door softly behind him and took a seat at the gleaming grand piano settled within the room full of technology. It seemed so perfectly out of place, and this was his treasure. He could play like Beethoven used to, pounding out loud, sleep waking notes, working up a fervor until he thought he keys beneath him would break.

The leather cover beneath him sighed softly as he settled and lifted the cover hiding the keys. They shown brightly from constant care and attention to detail. He smiled more to himself than anything, resting his tapered fingers lightly on the polished keys with a gentle ease. Yes, there were moments like this when nothing seemed more perfect than this instrument.

_Suguru is just as perfect_, his mind commented thoughtlessly. Tohma snapped his head up, as if someone else had said it out loud. An almost frown marred the features on his boyish face as he pondered his own thoughts, fingers aimlessly tinkering with the ivory keys. Beethoven's Sonata 14 was smoothly pouring out as he stared at the soundproofed wall ahead of him.

It was true. If he thought about it, Suguru was a perfect moment in a tangible form. Every graceful curve and catlike move was absolute perfection in his eyes. But, he'd always cherished his little cousin, so what other thoughts were to be expected?

His brows furrowed in thought as he played on, getting lost. A mixture of past, present and imagination. It was all so easy to see a pretty little woman hanging on his little cousin's arm. Around woman, Suguru gave off such a proper and upright aura, he seemed bigger than normal. Although, with a man… man? Was his little cousin gay? Certainly he had a soft, sibilant way of speaking, his sense of style came from him, as did the way he handled people, but his sexuality was a mystery. But he could see someone larger with his cousin. A slightly larger man to protect him, look over him. Maybe blonde…

His fingers stopped mid note, letting the fantasy fall to the floor and unwind in the silence, music dissipating. He gently closed the cover and rested his head in his hands as his elbows rested atop the gleaming black polished piano cover. He stared and could waver between seeing his own face reflected and the glare of light on black. Tohma saw his pallid face and confused teal eyes stare back at him. For the briefest moment… he'd pictured himself with his own cousin in a lovers embrace. But it wasn't the rapid lust filled ones that he'd had with Ryuichi, or the soft unsure ones he'd had with Eiri. No, this one had been different. Something… breathtaking, really…

Ah, but wasn't he the old perverted man, chasing after little boys, his own blood no less! What had he come to, thinking such sinful, contemptuous thoughts? Maybe he was overworked… or at least spending far too much time with Suguru. Yes, maybe it was time to distance himself. Show him around the building, maybe set him up as a studio musician. He was exceedingly better by far than the usual batch of no names he had running around the corridors of N-G.

Without noticing, the blonde had slipped his arms downward, laying one atop the other on the cover and rested his head on top of them. Hazy teal eyes drifted shut with surprising ease seeing as this position wasn't comfortable. But before he could make a move to go back to bed, he was already past being moved by his own will and into sleep. While he slept, he thought and thoughts, as one knows, can turn into dreams.

Tohma lifted his head with a soft gasp, looking around sharply. He could've sworn… no matter, it had apparently been a dream, and all the better than real life. He felt disgusting, vile, dirty… wrong. But completely and utterly aroused. He looked down between his arms and instantly saw the tented silk material between his legs. The blonde, in punishment to himself, almost decided to leave it to strain and push in dire need of friction until he willed it away painfully.

Then again, he was alone and no one had to know of his dirty little temptations. At least that was how he justified himself as he wiggled about, working the pants down over his slim hips and straining erection. He shut his eyes as he felt one of his strong, effeminate hand wrap around it. Tohma let his head fall forward against his chest as he worked at trying to relieve the pressure, images fluttering past his shut lids.

Suguru was quietly wandering the halls in the dark, first locating a bathroom, then the kitchen to get a glass of water. Redundant, but he was restless and needed something. He set the now empty glass in the sink with a tiny 'clink!' and turned away, wondering what he could do to try and tire himself out. He wasn't really tired at all. No, every time he would try and sleep, thoughts would flood his mind, keeping him from sleep. Shuffling quietly throughout the large mansion, he passed by the studio and noticed the light filtering in through the bottom crack of the door. Softly, carefully, he turned the knob, pushing the well oiled, noiseless door open a crack, hoping to catch the faint strains of music from his cousin. Instead, he heard panting, soft, light.

"To-chan, are you-" Suguru stopped as he stepped in, the blonde turning to look at him, face stiff as he worked at trying to hide himself.

He was frantically working to pull his pants back up as a curiosity took over his little cousin's face. Slowly, he made his way into the room, the door easing shut on its own, leaving them in the still room together. Alone. Tohma watched with a slight pang of growing fear and arousal as his cousin walked over to him, one soft hand placed on his shoulder as he looked over the other to see what was 'wrong' with his older cousin. The blonde had no real reason to be so embarrassed, they were both male after all, but his guilt for what was causing this predicament was forcing him to try and hide.

Suguru's eyes widened as he backed away slightly, fingertips dragging off his silk laden shoulder. Tohma forced himself into a covered state and looked at his stuttering little cousin.

"I-I-I… sorry!" he gasped when he saw Tohma get up from the piano bench.

He sighed heavily, as if he'd been working out. "Nothing to apologize for, Sug-kun. All my fault. I… I don't do this often, here, at least," Tohma said, trying to explain everything.

The blonde was hunched over the piano as he stood, shoulders rounded and blonde head bowed. He stayed that way quietly for a long while, and jerked slightly when he felt two slender arms wrap around his waist and a small, flat chest press against back.

"Sug… Sug-kun?" Tohma asked uncertainly, as if he couldn't believe the turn of events. Hadn't his little cousin been embarrassed out of his mind a few moments earlier?

He felt the arms around him tighten briefly. "Tohma?" a small voice asked, almost inaudibly.

"Are… are you okay, Suguru? Why are you up this late?" the blonde asked, loosening the grasp of his cousin and turning to face him. He looked up at his older cousin, raking his teeth over his bottom lip gently.

Tohma was entranced by the small action. A perfect row of teeth smoothing over light, petal pink lips, full and…

_Gods, no! Stop it, stop it,_ he shouted at himself.

This was his cousin for Gods sake! What was he thinking? This was so horribly, terribly wrong. And he should have far better control. He eased away from Suguru, his erection still prominent, and sat back down on the piano bench.

"Sit," he said, patting the leather cushion next to him. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Yes, now Tohma had to play the father, brother, whatever you wanted to call it. He had to be exactly what Suguru needed. But the last thing he wanted was to be stuck in such a close proximity to his little cousin. He just didn't feel… right. Suguru took the offered seat, hands nervously cracking in his lap. He had a bad nervous habit of cracking his knuckles. The blondes eyes narrowed in agitation and placed a hand atop his, stopping them.

"Please. That's absolutely horrible," Tohma said, a pained look on his face. "Especially if you want to play professionally. Eventually, you're knuckles will swell as you get older. Quite grotesque if you ask me."

Suguru went still and the silence was just about to kill Tohma, suffocating him slowly and painfully with little more than a glance of confused green eyes. He bit back a sigh, wishing he could just run back to the bedroom, sorry he'd ever gotten out of bed.

"…sorry…," his little cousin said meekly, looking down at their hands.

"Sug-kun," Tohma sighed softly. "Why are you up? You need rest," he chided gently, pulling the smaller boy closer to him as he wrapped an arm about his thin shoulders.

"I… was just restless, To-chan," he sighed, looking at their knotted hands in his lap.

The blonde frowned, watching his cousin. "Second thoughts about this arrangement?" he asked sympathetically.

To his surprise, the small boy shook his head vigorously and looked up at him with wide eyes.

"No! No, Tohma," Suguru said, almost pleading for his older cousin to believe him. "This is better than anything…"

The blonde wanted to believe that, but if his little cousin was so happy, why such a… lost tone of voice? Confused even.

"Then what has you up and about this late?" He pressed, starting to feel sleep come upon him in a heavy, slow pressure. His eyes felt gritty and burn slightly and now he only wished to climb back into bed.

"I don't know… you ever have one of those kinds of nights?" he asked, starting to look tired as well.

Tohma stifled a yawn as he nodded. "But eventually I do get tired. Old age and whatnot," he said with a kind smile.

"You're not old!" Suguru said, looking almost horrified. "You don't look a day over twenty at the most!"

The blonde ruffled the boy's hair and chuckled softly. "Maybe. But it doesn't change how I feel some days," he sighed, shoulders slumping slightly with oncoming fatigue.

Suguru made a face and hugged his cousin tightly. Tohma looked a little surprised by the sudden action, but hugged the slender boy back. He was getting very tired of this little run around. Everything going on seemed to be catching up with him all at once.

"Sug-kun," he murmured, eyes closing for a moment as he rested his cheek on his little cousins' head, smelling a light, sweet aroma of something fruity or flowery coming off of him.

He felt the boy stiffen up slightly. "Yeah, To-chan?"

"It's time for bed," he said with worn out finality.

"S-sure."

Together they got up and eased out of the studio, barely remembering to flick off the light, the incident long ago forgotten. Suguru and Tohma went to the younger boy's bedroom first, though it meant a slightly farther walk for the blonde. He leaned down thoughtlessly and pressed a light kiss to one of the boy's smooth, round cheeks. Backing away, he saw a dim flush hidden by the darkness, but his sleep addled mind couldn't make a connection.

"Good night," Tohma murmured, walking away.

"Good night," was the quiet response before the soft click of a door.

Making his way back to the bedroom and slid quietly back under the sheets with a sigh. There was no time to think anything over, because he was already lost to sleep within seconds. Not a thought went towards what Suguru could've been thinking about the whole encounter.

_Please review. Sorry for the rush and wait._

_SL_


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: No, not mine, damnit!_

_Author's Note: Hello, today is the day of chapter five. Thank you all who reviewed and I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry about the rush in notes last night, but I was about to lose power. My battery was dying. Lol. No, so like I said, here's the next chapter, I think (personally) it's quite good! Heh… Now, incase of confusion, I'm saying this: The notes at the bottom were done weeks ago. Right now, I'm in my new house in California and no longer where I was writing from._

_I'd like to say this as well; I'm not dedicating this story, so much as the work, time, effort and words, to Charlie. I'd like to think of it as showing how I can keep living and doing what I love, no matter what. _

_The Family misses you Charlie, get home safely._

_Now, please enjoy chapter five of 'Teach Me', titled (and quite well I should say) _Take Me.

_**Teach Me**_

_Take Me_

Suguru was introduced to N-G Productions on his fifteenth birthday. Tohma was inwardly bubbling with excitement; his company was becoming one of the biggest, most powerful in Japan. He was acquiring new, fresh talent everyday, scouts sent to every bar, club and neighborhood where people complained about the local garage band. Some were wary of the people the blonde contracted. They were young, seemingly untalented kids. How could they make anyone money? The business needed bands that were doing small concerts, getting paid and had connections with a few other bands. They needed bands that opened for other bands. What Tohma herded in were the most raw, coarse forms of music.

Everyone thought Suguru was just another walking piece of coal, a diamond in the rough, just like the rest of Tohma's musicians. The people who had been working for the blonde since the beginning had long ago left their worries behind and held nothing but devotion and respect for the man and his wishes. They learned that (as their slogan went) 'Seguchi Knows Best'.

Suguru liked the feel of the place immediately. It was large, welcoming, but you could tell it meant business. It was up to date in the latest for producing music and instruments. But, there was no time to stop and play apparently. No, today Tohma wanted to teach Suguru about business, in case his little cousin ever chose a career leading that way. He was shown everything from the bottom rung people, all the way to the secretaries who worked for Tohma's secretaries. Finally, it was time to see his cousin's office and get a good eyeful of what being your own boss could do for you.

Tohma loved open spaces and being able to see what was ahead of him. It came as no surprise to see the large ornate office decorated brightly and comfortably and it felt open without being sparse. Tohma had a large mahogany desk with a comfortable looking leather chair behind it, and behind that, the wall was entirely a window. The office didn't need any lights on a nice day because the window would let the light flood in, in the most attractive way. The cushioned carpeting reminded Suguru of his cousin's eyes, the blonde's taste obviously reflected in the décor. A mix match of colors that would seem hideous at first glance, but then on closer inspection you could see how they tastefully came together in a minute blend. Of course there was a wall decorated with Nittle Grasper's shinning moments; framed pictures, clippings, awards and a Synth settled in the corner. It was all open, sleek and modern, screaming Tohma.

"My office, of course," the blonde said, smiling as he watched his little cousin take in the elaborate setting.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Suguru said with a laugh, walking over to the Synth in the corner.

Tohma watched, shutting the office door behind him with a soft click. Suguru had turned on the immaculately kept Synth, still in working order, and start a remixed version of his all time favorite piece; Beethoven's 14th Symphony. The blonde could appreciate the new sound on an old favorite, and he was impressed with his cousin for working such a complicated piece into such a new beat sound. He remembered when he first told Suguru that, that was his favorite piece.

_They were seated before a piano in the little studio of Suguru's home. Tohma's little cousin had just finished playing a piece that could be considered advanced for a child his age, but, save the physical boundaries of having small hands, the young boy had played it exceptionally well._

_"Can you play Beethoven's sonata 14?" Tohma asked, pleased with his little cousin's skill. _

_That was his very favorite._

_"A few parts that I recognize notes... but not much," Suguru said, feeling bad._

_He should've worked on stuff like that! Not the stupid workbook. Tohma said it was important and he had just passed that over because it had looked really, really hard._

_Tohma probably wouldn't've done that. Suguru had to work harder! He wanted to be able to play whatever Tohma gave him. _

_"Then it'll be the first thing I teach you," Tohma decided, seeing the expression on Suguru's face alter slightly. So, he smiled warmly to help ease whatever it was that was making the young child frown._

_"We've got to start somewhere, and it's a nice slow pace. And it's perfect because it'll teach you how to use your hands together but separately. How to make them both play a different song at the same time." But yes, slow enough that Suguru wouldn't trip all over it._

_He leaned in to whisper as if sharing a secret, "And then you can come and play it for me whenever you want. I never get tired of hearing it." _

_He smiled again, though a little cautiously. That sounded really, really hard. His hands liked playing the same song together, what if he couldn't make them each play something different?_

_But the excitement of Tohma teaching him was more than enough to overcome all of that. And he wanted to play for Tohma. _

_Suguru leaned against his cousin, smiling. "Then I'm gonna play it all the time." _

_"One day, I'm going to steal you away from your parents," Tohma teased, nodding his head in promise as he held the adorable child against his body, petting through his hair, brushing it away from creamy, even skin._

_"And then you'll be aaaaaall mine."_

"Wonderful, Sug-kun," Tohma congratulated, clapping lightly as his little cousin finished.

Suguru practically beamed as he shut off the instrument, turning to take a look at the Nittle Grasper coated wall, hands linked behind his back.

"I remember this one," he said, tapping a glossy frame around a group picture of the band.

It was a casual picture, none of the members looked any different those years ago compared to now. Ryuichi was draped dramatically over a smiling Tohma's lap, Noriko wrapping an arm across the blonde's shoulders, lowered in a crouch to be higher than the singer, but lower than the other keyboardist, giving off a sultry, haughty look. That was a week before they had gone off to New York on tour and business. Soon after that they had parted ways. Ryuichi going back to the States, Noriko raising a family and Tohma starting his business. Suguru wondered if they were all still as happy as they looked there.

"So do I," Tohma replied, eyes flickering with a quickly passing sadness.

He missed his friends. The only two people he'd ever connected with, kept as close as Suguru himself. While he did keep busy these days hiring, firing, paperwork, it just wasn't as much… fun. He remembered back in high school when they had met; it was a blur of fun and hormones and long nights when things seemed like nothing would go they way they had imagined. They all talked occasionally, but it made him feel old. Old, parted friends calling to catch up instead of calling to plan parties and tours. Working helped him forget, although he purposefully placed reminders throughout the building. Ah, he was his own masochistic sadist.

"Have you talked to them lately?" Suguru asked, drawing his attention away from his memories.

"Oh, yes. Noriko is doing well with Saki-chan and Ryuichi's solo career is doing as well as ever," he said, watching as his little cousin went over to the large window, looking out over the vast city view.

Suguru pressed his palms flat against the cool glass, taking in the beautiful scenery. Tokyo was gorgeous when you were so far up from the congestion down below. Although he soon became lost in his own thoughts. Tohma had been so completely devoted to him lately. More so than usual. Maybe it was just the family bonding, but Suguru didn't want to get his hopes up. Tohma was his cousin, in love with Eiri and torn between Ryuichi, he was also married… to Eiri's sister. They were cousins. He knew how wrong this was, lusting after his cousin. It was probably just idol worship gone wrong. He was confident once he was out on his own, away from Tohma, everything would be fine. He'd get over this little… crush, if that's what you could dare to call it.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts, he hadn't realized Tohma's gaze practically burning holes into his back. How tempting, the target of his desires alone… unknowing. To such an outwardly clean, wholesome looking person, what could be called gruesome images flipped through the blonde's mind. The young keyboardist forced over the desk, face flushed and panting with a mixture of pain from the building release and pleasure all at once. Papers would be scattered in a gently rustling flurry. Groans, grunts, gasps… so, so tempting.

The blonde hadn't even realized his affections towards his little cousin until late. It had hit like a ton of bricks and yet felt so familiar, like this passion had been lying dormant. But this was his cousin. His pure, precious little Sug-kun. By giving in, he could make the same mistakes he had made with Eiri. The age, timing, feelings… it was all too coincidental. It was at this unstable turning point that he'd destroyed Eiri. Helped break down the sweet child he'd been and had doctors rebuild him into the brazen man that he was today. Tohma didn't want to do that to his little untouched cousin. He couldn't.

But the images wouldn't leave him alone. They were still coming, unbidden by his mind. So many positions, so many places, so many possibilities. He knew though, he could never take his little cousin in his office, or any of the other places his mind had conjured up. Tohma knew Suguru was still a virgin. He enjoyed having that knowledge. Knowing that no one else touched his Sug-kun, and the blonde could make sure that no one ever would… but, still wrong. His mind played out the fantasy he'd regretted coming up with most. A bed, the right atmosphere, taking things slow and gentle… no. That was the worst one. It shook him up a little, could his subconscious be telling him there was more than just attraction for his little cousin? Tohma didn't want to know, couldn't risk everything that Suguru was to him now for some pointless intimate moment.

Suguru had rested his forehead against the glass, eyes slowly closing. They paused at half-lidded, fighting to stay up and open in case Tohma was checking to see if he was being observant. He wasn't tired, not at all. They just wanted a comfortable, day dreamy rest. They slipped closed and the foggy state where one can drop into sleep, but is constantly pulled away from it into consciousness soon was upon him. It was almost like a form of meditation to Suguru. Some peaceful in-between, only he allowed thought. He could never keep his mind quiet if he wanted to, and he couldn't say that he hated what his mind was focused on. And horny teenager or not, he'd never visualized anything happening between the two of them. Because that was crossing the line, and he didn't want to cross the line. The random passing thought was nothing; it was easily condemned, never to pop up again for a while, but to actually go one step further than thought and… Suguru couldn't possibly. But his mind (and body) had, had enough of the uptight treatment. They both agreed the kid needed loosening up, and in the state he was in now, it would be the perfect chance to do so. Behind closed lids, deep green eyes were taking in a flood of long suppressed images and there was nothing he could do to stop himself.

Suguru felt a warmth close over him as a shadow descended upon him. His eyes snapped open sharply and he stiffened before two hands rested on his shoulders and a flash of blonde pierced his peripheral vision. He relaxed, melting the tension away as his cousin pressed up close behind him, talking softly into his ear as he pointed out certain buildings with a gloved hand. He felt his skin shiver with every puff of warm breath that passed over the shell of his ear.

Suguru wanted to shut his eyes again and enjoy this. Then he felt Tohma's hands slid off his thin shoulders and travel down his arms, resting atop his own hands that were starting to become moist against the glass. He looked over his shoulder at his older cousin, confusion obvious when lips were suddenly over his in one fell swoop. A warm jolt went straight to his groin at the contact, and he felt like he was drowning in the sudden overload of emotions and feelings. Logic was officially non-existent.

A probing tip of the blonde's tongue across his lips made it clear he wanted access, and Suguru didn't give in right away, but he was soon swept up in the breathless rush, lips parting and another tongue rubbing up against his own, making gentle sweeps in his mouth. It was an overwhelming rush. He realized one of Tohma's hands was no longer on his, but making its way down his chest, abdomen and then resting at the top of his pants. It hurt, it hurt to feel a need this powerful and have it so fucking close, but not to get any relief. Suguru willed Tohma to continue, begged him mentally and with his eyes shut tight from the kiss, he squeezed them even tighter, almost drawing tears.

The blonde must've heard him, because the hand causing him so much torment popped the button at the top of his slacks with just a small flick of slender fingers. The zipper being pulled downward ripped through silence with a ragged tug. And then there was nothing. Suddenly Tohma was gone and Suguru opened his eyes just a bit to try and catch a glimpse of the blonde. He was removing his gloves with a careful, practiced ease, tossing them on the desk where he had placed his hat. He felt an arm encircle his waist as Tohma slipped a smooth hand beneath the parted material of the pants, rubbing him teasingly through his boxers as he pressed himself up against his little cousin's backside. Suguru felt a hard something poke the small of his back, but that was a split second of coherence before a warm hand was wrapped around his length.

A gentle yet firm grip moving painstakingly slow. His hips moved on their own, working into the hand with a soft moan. He felt Tohma shift behind him, but nothing happened until he felt his other hand reappear and work the pants and boxers off and Suguru blushed knowing he was exposed to his cousin. The blonde released Suguru and the young boy nearly hit his head against the window in agony. Window? Suguru hadn't realized he'd been exposing himself to whoever looked up at the N-G building and he went to move away, but Tohma had him forced up against the window, keeping him in place, one hand pressed flat against the glass as the blonde head dipped down to press searing, light kisses along his cousin's neck. Suguru had no idea what was going on at the moment. It was hard to comprehend through the fog that had coated his mind.

But he was jolted out of it when he felt something slightly cold and… wet, wriggle its way into him. He gasped breathlessly in pain, arching away from the intruding object, but that only left him pinned completely against the window and the thing was moving around painfully in him. He breathing was harsh, a soft fog coating the glass with every pant until his breathing smoothed out. He'd almost forgotten the pain from before. It was uncomfortable, whatever it was, wasn't leaving, but it wasn't as bad as it was at first. Until Tohma added another lubricated finger, scissoring the two digits together in a burning pain. And once that faded, another was added and they moved together, trying to loosen him up for something even bigger.

Suguru's heart caught in his throat when that realization hit. But that was shattered when the fingers were able to go deep enough to brush against a small bundle of nerves that made his muscles tighten as he shut his eyes in a long drawn out moan, fingers trying to find something to grab onto besides slick glass, hips working against the fingers, aching erection desperate to find a friction other than smooth glass.

He heard a rustle of cloth, a wet sound and then Tohma wrapped his free arm around him, pulling him against his chest as he removed his fingers from Suguru with a wet sucking sound. The blonde had buried his head in the crook of Suguru neck, breathing shallow. He had an idea as of what would be coming now; he just… couldn't make it all fit. Everything about this was so… he didn't even know. He felt something hard pressing awkwardly into him. Suguru wanted to panic, scream, rant, rave, but all he could do was let Tohma painfully fill him up. It was one of the worst pains he had ever felt, but it was such a strange turn on at the same time. Suguru didn't realize he was panting, begging under his breath for something, anything until Tohma had given him what he had asked for.

The blonde moving in and out of him, grunting softly into his neck, skin becoming sticky from exertion was causing him so much pain and pleasure all at once; he didn't think he'd be sane after this. He'd lost control of his vocal cords, moaning loudly, and incoherent words spilling from his lips, pushed out with every hard thrust. When a hand gripped him firmly, pumping in time to the thrusts, Suguru tumbled over the edge into a mind numbing pleasure, his cousin following soon after by the wetness running down his legs.

"And that one is our sister building. A subsidiary of N-G Productions basically," Tohma's voice said.

Suguru's eyes snapped open, breath caught in his throat as everything came into focus. The window reflected his pale, slightly sallow looking face and Tohma's smiling one right next to his.

"Day dreaming, Sug-kun?" his cousin asked with a laugh.

You have no idea, he thought, a desperate edge to his inner voice. "Yeah… I got lost in the view."

He saw Reflection Tohma nod. "Half the reason I made this wall a window. Beautiful view."

The young boy realized he had to get to a bathroom fast. A little reminder of his thoughts was still quite obvious.

"Excuse me, To-chan! Bathroom break!" he said cheerfully, fluidly getting away from his cousin and rushing for the door.

Tohma watched him go, eyes curious and knowing all at once. Taking a seat in the large chair behind his desk, he picked his gloves up from next to his hat and slipped them on.

_Oooo… Dun, Dun, DUUUUN! dramatic reverb_

_I like the smut! I was actually just messing around with a friend on line one day and started writing the two having sex against the window in Tohma's office. She'd loved it! Lol. I didn't think I'd put any smut in a chapter this soon, I was thinking the whole 'Earth shattering kiss' would be in this chapter. Y'know, when the pair finally has some random kiss explaining their feelings and then there's an awkward period yadda, yadda, yadda. I guess my mind and libido had something else in mind! _

…

_I have no idea why I ramble some times. Anyway, I know it was long smut, but at least it was smut! OH!_

_So, what do you think happened, hm? Was Tohma advancing on Suguru while he was immersed in his fantasies? Or perhaps it was all really a daydream. Who knooooooows!_

_I sure as hell don't. I'm serious, I wrote this in the car while we were on our way to Vegas. I'm writing these notes while I'm staying in the Harrahs hotel. It's… Friday. On Sunday we're leaving Vegas and going to our new place in California. Damnit, I'm no longer a Jersey Girl folks. It's a sad day, people, very sad._

_AnyHOO! Hey, leave me some reviews on what you think happened here! Hell, maybe it'll help me figure it out… Christ, that really was a long smut scene. Well, longest one for me ever. I think. Unfortunately, this was finished before chapter four. I had that written up on my mom's PC, but forgot to e-mail it to myself, so it was stuck in limbo until we unpacked and set it up. My little brother is fucking annoying me with his cell phone. Review whilst I kill him slowly and painfully… drowning, or suffocation? Maybe the phone shoved down his throat would be best…_

_SL_


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